Saturday, March 6, 2010

How to Eat Typical Spanish

When the time comes for gastronomical pastimes in Spain, the typical American may feel inadequate. Unless you are going to McDonald's, Spanish restaurants require a bit of time to get used to. More often than not, the restaurant you enter will be a relatively small space with a bar, plates of pinchos*, and a healthy sized crowd mulling over its day with a cup of coffee or a caña.** And copious amounts of cigarettes. The atmosphere is lovely and the coffee is delicious, but those luxuries arrive--in true Spanish fashion--a bit later.

Walking into a restaurant, unless it is extremely crowded, you will be greeted by the hombre*** behind the bar, who will expect you to immediately place your order. I am convinced that Spaniards possess intrinsic mechanisms that allow them to not only know which tapas**** the restaurant will carry before they even walk through the door, but to see through the mayonnaise mess and know what's what. There is no menu. Granted, most restaurants carry the same tapas, more or less, but is no one interested in looking before ordering, in case there is a variant or two?

Considering I do not possess said mechanism, I always feel an incredible amount of pressure trying to decide what I want. The man behind the bar stares at me, not knowing what to do with himself because I have broken protocol and not ordered immediately. Unfortunately, the pressure I feel is negatively correlated with my ability to speak Spanish; by the time I finally decide that I want that thing with the stuff inside and this other thing with the mayonnaise and meat substance, my adjectives don't agree with my nouns in gender and basic words escape my mind.

A few suggestions, brought to you by five months of experience:
1. If you are not a picky eater, select anything you want. The food is usually good.
2. Tortilla española***** is a safe choice and always available.
3. Give yourself the gift of time by ordering a drink first.
4. Endure the staring and remind yourself that these people would probably have issues at some American eatery.

*tapas
**draft beer
***man
****small portions of food
*****thick omelet with potatoes

3 comments:

  1. Well done! Spain in a nutshell. I want some tortilla now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmm.. that's really interesting that they expect you to order immediately.

    In American Chinatowns, waiters at small restaurants that serve all the popular authentic dishes will often assume customers know what they want when they enter too, especially for lunch. They give you cups of tea immediately and then think you're ready to order.

    So is this for all restaurants in Spain and for all meals too (lunch and dinner)?

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is usually in just the typical, traditional bars that serve tapas. Real sit-down restaurants function normally, but there are way more traditional bars than restaurants, at least in Burgos.

    ReplyDelete